


Taako and Lup's Master Chef Cook-Off Challenge

by Newt



Series: Newt's Twins Week! [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, I love them both equally and so much, just some twin shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 11:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13501210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Newt/pseuds/Newt
Summary: The twins gather the crew for a blind taste test, to settle a score once and for all.





	Taako and Lup's Master Chef Cook-Off Challenge

**Author's Note:**

> Happy day one of twins week! The prompt for today was ‘your favourite twin’ and, like, of course I love them both and can’t decide. Of course. So here’s everyone else also loving them both and not being able to decide.

“So. You’re probably wondering why we’ve gathered you here today,” says Lup, steepling her fingers together with an evil glint in her eye.

 

The rest of the crew shares a nervous look. They are wondering this, yes, after being pushed into the Starblaster’s kitchen at 9 pm with no warning. There’ve been good smells hanging in the air all day, but none of crew have seen the twins since morning.

 

The table in the kitchen has been pushed aside, with five chairs arranged in a half circle. In the centre, Taako and Lup are poised for a presentation.

 

“Basically we want you to settle an argument,” says Taako, brushing his hands on his apron. “It’s not that deep.”

 

“Cool job killing the mood there, bro,” says Lup.

 

Merle raises his hand.

 

“So… is this like a hostage thing?”

 

“Yeah, there’s a bit of a crime vibe,” agrees Lucretia.

 

Lup clicks her tongue, turning towards the countertop.

 

“Now, now, class. Settle down please.”

 

“Would a criminal give you _this?_ ” asks Lup, pulling some fluttery material off of the counter, revealing ten covered plates.

 

“I mean, I don’t know what that is, so the answer’s still yeah?” says Magnus, glancing at everyone else.

 

There are some general noises of agreement.

 

“Hey, everyone? If you could stop cutting down my dramatic tension that’d be pretty cool,” says Lup.

 

“She thinks she’s building tension. It’s adorable,” says Taako, inspecting his fingernails. Lup flips him off.

 

“We want you to try our shit and tell us whose is better. Is that boring enough for you, bro?”

 

“I’m not gonna be trying anyone’s shit,” says Merle, bursting into laughter. No one else laughs.

 

Taako straightens up, finally annoyed.

 

“Okay, listen up chucklefucks, I’ve prepared for you, today, the best Candlenights meal that has ever existed. Lup is trying to challenge this with whatever she scraped off the pan, and so you’re gonna do a blind taste test and tell us who you, the audience, thinks made the better food. And the winner is gonna cook on Friday.”

 

Davenport snorts.

 

“Wait… guys, is that what this is about? You want us to choose someone as a Candlenights chef now that we’re in a plane that celebrates it? I guess the food here is a lot closer to what we’re used to, too. You… you’re really making this joyful thing into some kind of weird competition, aren’t you?”

 

“Less talky, more eaty,” says Taako, conjuring up a folding table and sliding two plates in front of the good captain.

 

Lup grins, starting from the other side of the room. She places two plates in front of Barry and blows him a kiss, to Taako’s loud cries of nepotism.

 

“I… these look like the same meal,” says Barry, distressed. “I mean… sorry, babe, but I have no idea which one’s yours. I can’t vote based on lovin’ you and stuff, that’s the point of a blind taste test.”

 

Lup’s face falls a fraction.

 

“Just follow your sweet little heart there, love.”

 

“Uh. Okay.”

 

Taako starts work on Merle.

 

“Hey, you remember that time you needed help making coffee at 3 AM? Who was there for you? Oh, right, it’s your buddy Taako. Don’t blow this for me.”

 

“You told me I was doing it wrong and took the mug from my hands!” says Merle.

 

“Hey, Merle, what the fuck did I just say?” asks Taako, getting real close. But alas, Merle will not be intimidated.

 

“Hey, Lup, which of these is yours?” Merle shouts, pointing to both meals in turn.

 

“I’ll never tell,” Lup sings, putting her plates in front of Magnus. He just looks happy to have so much food, and she decides it’s useless to try to reason with him.

 

Taako and Lup each take a plate to Lucretia, and spend a solid minute staring at her before putting them down. Lucretia does not look away from the eye contact, spreading her glances evenly between the two of them, face unreadable. Lup is sure they’re sharing a special moment. Taako is failing his intimidation check in a major way.

 

“Thank you,” she says, finally, dismissing them.

 

“Now before you start, we’re going to list the categories,” says Taako, gesturing to a huge piece of paper.

 

“Hwap?” asks Magnus, mouth packed full of potatoes. Taako ignores him.

 

“Presentation! Mouthfeel! Flavour! Moisture! Nostalgia factor!” lists Lup, ticking them off on her fingers. She’s grinning full-on, now, clearly having way too much fun with what started as a _very serious event._

“Are you just gonna… watch us eat?” asks Barry, nervously.

 

“Oh, yeah, totally. Wouldn’t miss a second,” says Lup, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

 

“Cool…”

 

An uneasy silence falls as the five of them get to eating, under the watchful eyes of the twins.

 

Taako paces from person to person, staring intently at them as they chew. Merle stubbornly avoids his gaze. Davenport nods and makes a few comments. Lucretia keeps her face infuriatingly neutral. Barry keeps glancing at Lup, as if hoping she’ll flash him some sort of sign about which meal is hers. This is cheating, and Taako fights to keep Barry in line with his stares. Magnus is done eating before Taako even gets to him.

 

Lup stays three steps behind Taako, making sure he’s not signalling to the others or cheating or anything. Gotta play this fair. Which is, admittedly, the most boring way to play anything.

 

Eventually, the plates are cleaned, and everyone is left looking around, not daring to break the spell of silence. Lucretia is the last to finish, savouring her turkey slowly.

 

“Okay, rating time!” says Lup, jumping up to sit on the counter. She swings her legs as she uncaps a marker, making a quick chart on another huge piece of paper. The Taako column gradually narrows out.

 

“Sorry, bubs. Slip of the hand.”

 

Taako rolls his eyes.

 

“You will be sorry when you can’t fit all of my points in there.”

 

“Okay, we’ll start on the right,” says Lup, scanning the crowd with the back of the marker. “Barry, honey? What’d you think?”

 

“Oh, uh. You meant your right. Okay. Sure.”

 

He grits his teeth, looking between Lup and Taako desperately. The battle to be a supportive partner without cheating at this most dangerous game rages behind his eyes.

 

“I think… um… Lup’s one? That one was good.”

 

“Nope, nice try. We numbered them. Please refer to the chart, Barold.”

 

Barry looks upward, towards whatever Gods are listening, and spits out an answer rapid-fire.

 

“I mean they were both really really good, of course they were, this food is always great thank you both but if nostalgia plays into it it’s probably like a nine for number one and a ten for number two just because of the stuffing I think uh yeah let’s go with that.”

 

Lup’s face changes, imperceptibly.

 

“I… sorry Lu,” he says.

 

“No, you did great, Barr.”

 

He blinks, trying to pick up on absolutely anything in her words.

 

“Did I… what?”

 

“You did GREAT,” she says, face still neutral.

 

“I have no idea what that means.”

 

“Magnus,” says Taako, clapping his hands together. Magnus jumps at the noise.

 

“What the f… you dish that one out all the time, are you honestly… no. The food. Talk to me about the food, Magnus.”

 

“I think they were both super tasty,” says Magnus, nodding sagely. “A perfect ten for both.”

 

Taako groans and marks it down. Lup shakes her head at him for a long time.

 

“Lucretia?” Lup says, turning towards her.

 

“I’d say it’s a ten for one, and a nine for two,” she says. “Also, I have no idea what ‘mouthfeel’ is supposed to be, and I don’t think I want to know.”

 

“That’s fair,” says Lup, reaching over to mark it down.

 

“Now we’re in a tie. Merle? Please help us out here.”

 

“Zero for both!” says Merle, slamming his hands down on the table. He casually shakes them out, hissing out a breath of pain. “No gravy! You can’t do Candlenights without gravy! It’s a disgrace!”

 

Taako writes “Merle is” in his column, and “a dipshit” in Lup’s. She nods, as if this is a valid answer.

 

“Hey!”

 

“Captain? You’re the final word,” says Lup, folding her arms and tapping her heel against the counter.

 

Davenport takes a deep breath.

 

“I think… all of this is ridiculous.”

 

Taako and Lup open their mouths at the same time, ready to launch into a response, but he cuts them off.

 

“No! Stop! Captain’s turn to talk. I won’t participate in a battle to decide which one of you is better at anything. You’re different people, with different styles. What I tasted here were two amazing meals prepared by two people that I respect and admire. They were delicious, but they were definitely lacking something. Do you know what that something was?”

 

“Alcohol?” asks Lup, innocently.

 

“The taste of victory,” says Taako.

 

“No! See, this is the thing. You both… you joke about these things, but there’s something else going on here. You want to give us a good Candlenights, and that’s great, and I know we’re going to have a great time! But that’s not going to have anything to do with the food, or the presents, or the decorations or anything.”

 

Magnus gasps. He’d carved the decorations himself. Davenport pinches the bridge of his nose.

 

“I mean, that stuff is nice, of course, but the best part of Candlenights is spending it with people you care about. We’re a team, here, and everything we do is better when we get along and do it together. So, please, you two. Work together, stop this petty argument, and celebrate a good time with the people who love you.”

 

The twins share a glance. Something flashes between them, built over a lifetime of glances.

 

“So I guess it’s gonna end in a tie, then,” says Taako, brushing off the captain’s speech.

 

“Mm, yeah. Sucks, dunnit?”

 

“Mm.”

 

The twins dismiss the panel, and things settle back into a tentative calm. Days pass, Candlenights approaches and, without word or discussion, the twins begin to work on a meal together. They sing and laugh and move as one, building up a grand event that the crew will cherish for cycles to come.

 

And, on the night their meal is served, the other five feel it too. The love, the laughter, and the rare moment of guiltless joy built into every bite. For just a moment, the IPRE crew allow themselves to relax. They enjoy each other’s company as a doomed world celebrates outside of them, and they breathe easily through board games and late-night conversations and one tired sun peaking over the horizon.

 

The twins fall asleep on the couch in the main area, leaning into each other just like they used to when they were kids. Davenport smiles, and throws a blanket over them before retreating to his own cabin.

 

Yeah, they’re better when they’re together.


End file.
